yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
