I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
