you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
