am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
