Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
