ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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