yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
