The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
