I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
