If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
