jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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