Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
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Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
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It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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