Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
