apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
