A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
