He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
PANTIES FOUND
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