Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
