I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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