Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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