READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
