Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
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Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
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When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize