I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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