Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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