i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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