billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
