ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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