I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
