Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
