So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
