i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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