He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He kissed a someone with a penis
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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