Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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