It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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