You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
