Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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