Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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