Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
two words...techno handjob
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
