we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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