Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
