idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
did you just send me my own nude
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
