She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
