you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We had sex on a dog bed..
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
