Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
