I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
