Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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