he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
