I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
