so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
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I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
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steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize