1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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