Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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