My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
