After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
