around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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