Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
