How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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