idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
