You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
