I want to make a zoo with you.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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