Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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