everyone is single if you try hard enough
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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