I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
