i will never coherently bang her
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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